Evacuate This, part 6

Log Info

• Title: Evacuate This, part 6
• Emitter: Whirlpool
• Characters: Eztli, Gramarye, Nemori, Robert, Jay
• Place: Alexandros Wilderness
• Time: Thursday, July 14, 2022, 10:02 PM
• Summary: One of the false guards let slip that they are waiting for the wolves to come. Jay attempts to laugh it off and get the caravan moving, while Magpie shouts that the group has inflitrators. Nemori purges any invisibilities, revealing two fey. This gets the caravan moving - in all directions, as civilians panic and charge into the dark, DARK whoods, while guards flail around with weapons unsuited to the fight. Battle ensues, the ugly flying pixies are brought down, by egalrin bolas and some well targeted spells. Magpie attempts to call back the fleeing refugees while a guard kicks her, and the battle rages on.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  Appearing  =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Gramarye     6'10"    320 Lb     War Golem         Female    A golem girl with obsidian eyes and bronze plating.
Jay          5'9"     145 Lb     Eaglefolk         Male      A perky male Blue Jay with a discerning eye.
Magpie       3'4"     36 Lb      Gnome             Female    A blond gnome woman wearing a motley of colors.
Robert       6'3"     235 Lb     Human             Male      A middle-aged Cerenzan with a friendly, fatherly vibe.
Nemori       4'10"    110 Lb     Mul'niessa        Female    A tall and slender, dark skinned elf.
-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  As the GM  =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Whirlpool                        Otyugh                      I am stinky!
-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=

Previously

The convoy is stalled, the reason apparent to some. Fey have infiltrated disguised as soldiers and are suggesting alternate paths, that the group split up, and otherwise delaying. They won't let the adventurers split up with refugees however, but do suggest they abandon the convoy to scout. Once things finally get rolling, a wobbly wheel conveniently develops, necessitating some repairs.

It takes some time for Nemori's mending magic to do its work, and it does give her some time to consider Eztli's suggestion. Not that she's all that experienced a wagon-wright. "My, how one's life can change," she mutters to herself as she carefully weaves the weak magic amongst the wheel parts, undoing damage that may... or may not... have been naturally caused. "Walking in the mud beside wagons full of dirty peasants while some amongst us may... or may not... be working against us..." This is all said to herself, barely more than a whisper. But she's clearly peeved about it all. Put out. Aggrieved.

Finally, *finally* you're on the road again. The sun has set. Darkness has really fallen. It's taken you way longer to get this far than it should have.

As Magpie is describing and talking with the guard on the way, the guard's mouth has started to water. "... issat right. Well, don't worry. We're almost done here. I'd LOVE a sweetroll, myself. But we're only gonna be doing this until the wolves get here."

A pause. A beat. The guard thinks about what he just said.

The wolves?

Oh, hey. Isn't there a problem with werewolves lately...?

Now

"The wolves? Oh, the elite wilderness guards of Alexandria that train with the druids?" Jay chirps, spuriously, calling out the Fey guards without doing so directly. "Well, let's get moving, less distance for them to travel to meet us."

Bob isn't one to push matters towards violence but his relaxed smile definitely has a strained note to it as he tromps ahead in his oversized powered-armor. A peaceful little golden stone floats and flits irregularly around and between his pauldrons issuing a quiet tinkling sound. He's apologized for the delays as best as he can and distributed taffies and kind words to the children mixed amongst the refugees. He makes sure folks have water or bread if they start to get hungry.

Those keen, blue eyes aren't everlong from a considering glance at the guards. Whatever the infiltrators are up to, he hopes to be ready for it.

"And you're happy to wait around for wolves why?" Eztli huffs, hopping back into the cart. "Most guards would much rather avoid wild animals coming to attack everyone, all the more reason for us to get back on the road and out of here. So, the wheel's fixed, and we should get going."

GAME: Nemori casts Light. Caster Level: 5 DC: 13

Nemori rises from the muck, her work done. As she does she picks up a small rock.. then enchants it with light and walks over to hand it to Jay. "It was possibly a coincidence, but it surely would disappoint me to learn we had been played for fools," she tells the egalrin before stepping away to look for and join Robert. "You have a history with this.. what are your thoughts?"

"...I am going to set every obstacle on fire," Magpie murmurs, locking eyes with the guard. "And, y'know... I'm sorry, but you just proved to be one."

Pushing back away from the railing, the little Gnome fills her little lungs.

"SO UH, EVERYONE, WE'VE GOT SOME FAE INFILTRATORS AND I THINK THEY'VE TRIED TO SELL US TO SOME WEREWOLVES," she bellows. "IF YOU HAVE A SWORD, GET READY TO SWING IT, AND IF YOU DON'T GET UNDER COVER, QUICK."

Gramarye is not competent with social interactions. In most matters, she usually lets Bob or one of the other chatty Ilife Forge folks handle things, lest Gramarye end up rattling off her full designation and introductory script to every person that walks through that door marked with Ceinara's symbol.

Her head pivots in the direction of her fellow apprentice as she approaches. "Wolves: canid creatures known for attacking--"

Then Magpie says the magic words. Fae infiltrators. Gramarye's eyes go bright red and her arms raise up. "Emergency combat protocol initiated. Father's protocol: neutralize all fae on sight."

Apparently Gramarye's 'Father' baked anti-fey policies into her programming.

"Ooooo, thanks!" Integrity takes the glowing stone from Nemori, staring deep into the light, it's reflection dancing over his eyes and ruining any night-sight he might have remaining.

Magpie's warning makes his head snap up, he looks at the guard nearest him, "I'm just a driver, driving. You ... should look into that."

The bluejay is quickly head counting their guards, and observing the reactions. "Wait, what? Whoa! Whoa, what are you talking about?!"

Magpie's story is causing everything to dissolve into confusion, as various people are denying that that's possible, looking around, and then the counter accusations are sure to come shortly. Some people are ducking as commanded, others are just standing confused. And everything now has stopped dead, once again.

GAME: Jay rolls sense motive: (6)+10: 16
GAME: Gramarye rolls Sense Motive: (1)+-2: -1 (EPIC FAIL)
GAME: Nemori rolls sense motive: (6)+3: 9
GAME: Jay rolls bluff: (19)+7: 26
GAME: Jay rolls profession/teamster: (17)+10: 27

"KEEP MOVING OR YOU'LL DIE WHERE YOU STAND!" Jay shouts suddenly. "ROLL OUT! WAGONS EAST! SLAKE THE BRAKES. GIT ALONG LITTLE DOGGIES!"

He throws in a few other sheep herding mantras for good measure, and snaps the reins, shouting at the wagon in front of him, "I'll roll over you if you don't move! Allegedly!"

Bob nods and falls into step behind the wagon when Jay gets it moving. "Stay inside and stay close," he tells the refugees.

"Don't impede our progress," he warns the guards. Gears grind and steam hisses as the titan gauntlets close into fists.

Between her mounting paranoia and the rising anxiety in the wagons as accusations are flung and denials are thrown up, Nemori is at her wits end. But she does realize one thing; even if the guard have been suspicious, if the wheel /was/ tampered with.. they couldn't have done it without being seen. And with magic in the air....

GAME: Nemori casts Invisibility Purge. Caster Level: 5 DC: 16

The fledgling priestess of Ceinara produces her token of the muse, then gestures in the air like one shift strings around a pattern.. and then she speaks a word in Sildanyari. Magic erupts from her, though it is unseen... a sphere of energy to wash away veils of invisibility. And it is a sphere that moves with her as she begins to walk back towards the wagons. And the guards.

Gramarye is on high alert now for fey. Her red eyes scan the guards very carefully.

Very. Carefully.

She observes Nemori's work with the magic, watching her move. "Robert," she intones. "I will prepare magic for the first fey entity that I see in order to neutralize it. Father's protocol is to neutralize all fey at all costs."

As Nemori's spell expands outwards from her central point, it washes over a space in the air above them. A pair of winged humanoid creatures, small ones, their visages twisted and scarred and horrifying to be hold. Pixies, of a sort, but clearly not of the legendarily whimsical variety, have appeared. They zip higher into the air upon their own revelation, and the civilians and some of the guards are pointing and yelping. Some are taking off in their wagons, others breaking into a dead run from the presence of the dark fey.

"Damn it all. Get as many as you can or we'll ruin Dace Zinskas' game!" shouts one of the winged fey from above, his voice magically enhanced to ensure their minions below can hear their bellowed order.

The guards are scrambling, drawing their blades. A couple draw their crossbows and take pot shots at the tiny pixies, but let's be honest: they have no real chance of hitting tiny flying targets with those things.

GAME: Nemori spends ONE use of BIT OF LUCK. (On Robert)
<OOC> Nemori says, "Moving to him to do it. That's my turn."

The ugly pixies (aren't they all?) aren't quite what Nemori expected. She sneers... but at the same time feels some vindication for the time she spent doing manual labour. Fixing the wheel. Apparently, work for the benefit of all isn't really a philosophy she holds dear too. She gets closer to Robert, hand falling to his armoured arm for a moment.. and the good fortune of the muse flows into him before she releases his arm and steps back.

<OOC> Whirlpool says, "There's only the two flying fey, the pixies, and they're about 15 feet in the air above the caravan, and very tiny. You can certainly try to bola them"
<OOC> Jay says, "per many, many, many previous discussions re the bolas, I only have to roll a CMB against their CMD when they're doing non-lethal tripping, and AC isn't relevant unless I'm throwing for damage - which can't trip, is my understanding"
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "Yep! Ranged trip is a CMB roll"
GAME: Jay rolls bab+dexterity+1: (7)+3+4+1: 15 (vs CMD 15 - Success)
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "One is hit by the bolas and goes fluttering to the earth."
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "So go ahead and pose bolaing a pixie."

As the tiny fey appear, Integrity stands, his hunting bolas pulled off his belt and into his hands. A quicky whrr, whipping them around, and he launches the weapon at the nearest pixie fifteen feet above him.

His wings slump, it seems his throw is going wide, again. Unexpectedly, the band between the weights snaps the creature across its wings. The fey goes fluttering to the earth.

<OOC> Robert says, "Alright. I'll move ~however far~ and punch the fallen fey. Swift to activate armor. Free (Ex) to Augment the titan weapon. Electricity."
GAME: Robert activates his Titan Armor, gaining: +4 Str
GAME: Robert rolls weapon12: (1)+9: 10 (EPIC FAIL)
GAME: Robert rolls weapon12: (19)+9: 28
GAME: Robert rolls 1d8+6+1d6: (5)+6+(5): 16
<OOC> Robert says, "11 magic (not cold iron), 5 electricity"
<OOC> Robert says, "I also have Fast Healing 2 while the armor is active. So I need 2hp healed, plx."

Bob's earliest memories are of fleeing Alexandria with his mother during Altima's reign. He and his late wife had to get their family out of Dragonier before it fell. The guy is nice enough to begin with but has a particular fondness and empathy for refugees. The -bullpucky- pranks of -post-kicking-... -sons-of-mothers- tainted fey are not a thing he can abide in a situation like this.

The titan armor comes to life with a furious zott as the golden imprint of an angel's feather at his breast flares and traces out along half-hidden copper wiring laid into the powder-black adamantine and brass plates. His sabatons fall heavily as he stoms towards the fallen creature and cocks back a fist. The fist comes to life with the blue-white arcs of a lightning bolt held firm in his grip as he drives it down, hard, and cracks the fey between plated knuckles and hard earth.

GAME: Gramarye casts Magic Missile/A1. Caster Level: 3 DC: 16
GAME: Gramarye rolls 2d4+2: (5)+2: 7
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "Roll a caster check. Pixies do have SR."
GAME: Gramarye rolls 1d20+3: (4)+3: 7

"Fey enemy identified. Activating magic missile," Gramarye intones, magic gathering in her slender hands. "Lock-on."

A crackle of magic and the arcane darts are sent flying at the pixie remaining in the air. But it's put off by the creature's mystical fey aura. The darts go off-target and fade out of existence.

"ERROR. Arcane ordnance deployed but did not strike target. Re-calibrating--" Gramarye's red eyes go... blue?

GAME: Eztli casts Scorching Ray. Caster Level: 4 DC: 17
GAME: Eztli rolls 1d20+4: (13)+4: 17
GAME: Eztli rolls 1d20+7+1: (12)+7+1: 20
GAME: Eztli rolls 4d6+4: (17)+4: 21

Eztli was glad she didn't get angry at the guards and attack them first. Still, they might prove to be werewolves, but that was yet to be proven, and the moon wasn't out just yet. And now the perpetrators were revealed! Eztli pops out of the carriage. and raises her hand in a movement she had been practicing, before gesturing at the flying pixie, conjuring a lance of fire that rushed towards the small fey, bathing it in fire for a lingering second before it vanished.

"You can still run and leave us on our way, you know!" Eztli shouts to the pixies.

GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (3)+6: 9
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (4)+6: 10
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (6)+6: 12
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (8)+6: 14
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (20)+6: 26
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (4)+6: 10
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (14)+6: 20
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d4: (3): 3
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d4: (1): 1

Roughly half the presence of guareds has turned on the other half. They're going after them. Stabbing, attacking. Others are now coming for you, as well, with their shortswords. The illusions are still covering them, so it looks like they're simply fighting guards, and some of them are declaring things like 'No, you're the imposters!' and other such things to only add to people's confusion.

Most of the civilians are fleeing in every direction at this point.

<OOC> Magpie says, "Can I try and herd the civilians in something resembling order, over a move action? Or would it be full-round?"
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "That'd be afull round diplo check."
GAME: Magpie rolls diplomacy: (9)+4: 13
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "I mean you don't make NO progress."

"HEY!" Magpie yells as the fighting breaks out, and the civilians scatter all willy-nilly. Which is, of course, the worst way for civilians to scatter. "HEY HEY! EVERYONE! I know you're scared, but INTO THE DARK WOODS IS NO PLACE TO BE. If you want to get to safety, stick to your carts! You're gonna be safer there, I promise!"

<OOC> Whirlpool says, "So, seeing Robert, Etzli and Gramarye are the biggest threats to it, the pixie that's still flying takes aim at Robert in an effort to help its comrade."
GAME: Robert rolls Will: (6)+3: 9
GAME: Robert rolls Will: (20)+3: 23 (CRITICAL SUCCESS)

"You get away from them!" yells the pixie above up at Robert, who proceeds to more or less completely ignore it and wave off whatever effect it was trying to compel him with.

On the ground, the bola'd pixie has stopped moving, putting its hands up in surrender. It can't really do much with someone atop it and its wings bound in bola, and it's invisiblity disabled. That's a problem for it.

<OOC> Nemori will give Jay the Luck this time, moving to him. If he's close enough. I have completely lost track of where everyone is in relation to me. :( Going to draw my rapier this time too.
GAME: Nemori spends ONE use of BIT OF LUCK.

Nemori's eyes widen, surprised despite herself, as Robert charges off. And she's almost mesmerized by the sudden unleashing of power, the lightshow his strike produces. Then she shakes her head, seeking out.. yes, Jay. She bounds after him. She doesn't climb up on to the wagon, but instead reaches up to touch one his legs before she turns around, rapier in hand. Seeming for all the world ready to defend him.

The guards are now fully caught off guard, fighting other guards, and it's all a massive mess. They're fighting those who are fighting them, yelling in panic, fearful of the fey, the wolves, and whatever else is coming.

It's nothing good, that's for sure. Magpie's yelling isn't left on deaf ears, but there's only so much they can do to help organize things wile fighting off their 'fellows'.

<OOC> Jay says, "I'd like to ranged trip it too. Also it seems we're being attacked by guards too?"
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "I mean you can still try but it woul be with like a -4 at this point"
GAME: Jay rolls bab+dexterity+1-4: (5)+3+4+1+-4: 9 (vs CMD 15 - miss)
GAME: Jay rolls bab+dexterity+1-4: (10)+3+4+1+-4: 14 (Luck re-roll - Miss)

Squawking, fluttering, frantic and feathery, Integrity takes a second set of bolas and wings them up at the pixie. It's flying higher, having pulled back for better taunting. Even with Nemori's little bit of luck, the bluejay is hopeless. His throw missing.

"Hey! I didn't mean run into the dark woods. DARK WOODS!" He calls, as the refugees scatter. This rescue isn't working out. He pulls out the glowing stone Nemori gave him, holding it like a beacon, "Come back! Walk towards the light! So you don't end up walking towards the light!"

<OOC> Robert says, "Not that these fey seem less-than-trustworthy but I will encourage the "surrendering" pixie to take a nap. Full attack, power attack, subdual damage."
GAME: Robert rolls weapon12-1: (3)+9+-1: 11
GAME: Robert rolls weapon11-1: (11)+9+-1: 19
GAME: Robert rolls 1d8+6+2: (3)+6+2: 11
GAME: Robert rolls 1d8+5+2: (4)+5+2: 11
<OOC> Robert says, "non-lethal"
<OOC> Robert says, "Also, 2hp more healed cuz Fast Healing"
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "Two hits, yeah, and the pixie is out."

The circuits pulse out from the chiseled deva's feather in time with the throb of Bob's heartbeat. The aging Cerenzan is actually feeling -better- as the fight goes on for a change! All that exercise might be paying off.

When the tiny interloper throws up her hands in surrender the artificer answers with a nod. "Nap time," he agrees. The titan fists open and he gives the tainted thing a one-two slap that pulls the fight right out of it.

<OOC> Gramarye says, "I will cast ray of frost at the pixie."
GAME: Gramarye rolls ranged: (15)+2: 17
GAME: Gramarye rolls 1d3: (2): 2
GAME: Gramarye rolls 1d20+3: (16)+3: 19

Gramarye's running low. In fact, she announces this. "WARNING: mana reserves are running low. Switching to emergency combat protocol: maintenance mode."

She collects a small amount of frosty magic in her hands as she intones an eldritch invocation, and she releases it at the pixie. This one actually blows past the pixie's defenses and... is chill! Cool out, pixie.

<OOC> Eztli says, "Casting Broaden Bob!"
GAME: Eztli casts Enlarge Person. Caster Level: 4 DC: 16
<OOC> Magpie says, "Oh no, Robert has evolved to RADBERT."
<OOC> Eztli says, "turn! And not in effect until Eztli's next turn."

Eztli is heroically staying within the cover of the wagon while the guards continue stabbing each other. That would have to change, but, all of her spells burnt things to death, and crossbows weren't known for their non lethal qualities, either. So, she settled for making the most of someone she already knew could knock out people if need be.

"Heads up, Robert!" Eztli calls out, before hiding back in the wagon to continue chanting.

GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (11)+6: 17
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (1)+6: 7 (EPIC FAIL)
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (9)+6: 15
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (18)+6: 24
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (15)+6: 21
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (2)+6: 8
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "One hit on Eztli, onme hity on Jay, one hit on Magpie."
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d4: (1): 1
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d4: (2): 2
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d4: (1): 1
GAME: Whirlpool damaged you for 2 points. 24 HP remaining.
GAME: Eztli rolls 1d20+4+5: (4)+4+5: 13 (Concentration - just barely keep the spell)

One of the 'guards' has snuck up onto the wagon and literally attempts to kick Magpie off it. It doesn't quite work, but well, they did try!

The others have come upon you, or are fighting guards, using their small swords to their advantage. They're definitely not as big as their illusion magics make them appear, as Eztli and Jay take narrow slices from their blades that should be much larger.

<OOC> Magpie says, "So the one on the wagon with me, could I angle a Burning Hands upwards to keep stuff on the wagon from catching fire?"
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "Yes."
<OOC> Magpie says, "That, and use my move action for calling to the citizens again."
GAME: Magpie casts Burning Hands. Caster Level: 2 DC: 15
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+3: (12)+3: 15
GAME: Magpie rolls 2d4: (8): 8

"SERIOUSLY, EVERYO-- hey what the shit, guy." Turning with the kick, the blond gnome glares up at the guard who tried to plant a boot in her back. Hopping backwards, she claps her hands together, ominous sparks of red and orange flittering out from between her fingers as she rubs her hands briskly together. Her hands rise to her face, then splay outward as she shouts a short, unintelligible phrase.

As if ignited by her words, red-purple mana catches fire, and roars outward and upward into a wondrous display of raw, arcane power.

The Guard's beard smokes a bit.

"...Shit," Magpie mutters.

<OOC> Whirlpool says, "Nemoori channels."
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 3d6: (9): 9
GAME: Whirlpool damaged you for -9 points. 26 HP remaining.

The reality is that the proper guards aren't really having much success. Their weapons aren' cut out for the whole 'fighting fey' thing, after all.

Which is why they have the upper hand *right now*...

<OOC> Jay says, "I guess draw rapier and feint at whomever stabbed me."
GAME: Jay rolls bluff: (6)+7: 13 (Feint - Fail)

Squawk! Jay jumps when he's poked. He was expecting a much larger wound. Still, it hurts... and then it's healed. "Hey! Hey! Don't do that!"

Dancing around on the frontboard, he struggles to draw his rapier. It isn't cooperating. Much like Nemori's, his is mostly for show too. "Look out!" He waves it at his opponent's face, "You wouldn't want to get stuck by Lengthy Arbitration."

It will be lost on the fey that it is the name of the blade. The attempt at a feint and a distraction also fails.

<OOC> Robert says, "Delay me until after Eztli, please."
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "Eztli, you finish your spell"
<OOC> Eztli says, "Robert is now big!"
<OOC> Eztli says, "I'm going to step away from the guard who tried to stab me and burn them"
GAME: Eztli rolls 1d20+5+2: (15)+5+2: 22
GAME: Eztli rolls 4d6+4: (13)+4: 17
<OOC> Whirlpool says, "You fry a guard!"

"Grow!" The small makari hisses, waving her hand after getting stabbed by one of the guards, which nearly makes her lose focus. Unfortunately for the guard, it just revealed it wasn't actually a guard with how the stab wound didn't quite match up. Eztli hopped back, and raised her hand again, summoning another spear of bright orange flames that hit their foe point blank, burning away and leaving a large scorch mark on the wood, and one fallen foe. <Draconic>

<OOC> Robert says, "Alright. I will do that, prioritizing one threatening Grammy or Jay."
<OOC> Robert says, "I'll non-lethal. Spend another Death Ray charge for zappies."
<OOC> Robert says, "To-hit bump from STR is a wash with to-hit penalty for being big"
GAME: Robert rolls weapon11: (11)+9: 20
GAME: Robert rolls weapon12: (1)+9: 10 (EPIC FAIL)
GAME: Robert rolls 2d6+5+1+1d6: (3)+5+1+(2): 11 (9 non-lethal, 2 electricity)

The oversized Cerenzan turns in his gargantuan, artifice-powered suit. He finds one of the crooked (or bewitched) guards and gives him a good thumping with an open palm. Tiny threads of copper laced through the adamantine plates discharge with a flash to further stun the offender. There's a grinding sound when he goes to offer a second physical rebuke, the joints of the suit's other arm getting stuck somewhere beneath the pauldron.

GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (19)+6: 25
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (18)+6: 24
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (15)+6: 21
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (1)+6: 7 (EPIC FAIL)
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d6+1: (1)+1: 2
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d20+6: (17)+6: 23
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d4: (4): 4
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 1d4: (2): 2
GAME: Whirlpool rolls 2d4: (5): 5

space for Robert to put a pose

<OOC> Magpie says, "This is gonna be humiliating, but I am literally the weakest link anyway. XD Draw a morningstar, attack."
GAME: Magpie rolls melee: (19)+1: 20
<OOC> Magpie says, "...OKAY LOOK, DICE."
GAME: Magpie rolls 1d6-1: (1)+-1: 0

"Ow hey CAN YOU NOT?! TRYING TO DO A THING HERE!"

Extremely put out by all the stabbing, Magpie unlimbers a small, but wickedly-spiked ball on an iron haft, gets a good windup going, and two-hand smashes it into the false Guard's kneecap.

And the recoil nearly drives the weapon out of her hand, not even doing damage to the unseelie's imaginary pant leg.

"...Okay look in fairness this was never going to work out well for me."

The 'guard' sort of looks at her with a marginally befuddled look. "What was that?" He's so confused, he's just gonna stand there and stare.

OOC

 ===================== Current Initiative Order - Round 1 =====================
 ---Init--Name------------AOO-Notes--------------------------------------------
  >> 20   Nemori           1   <<
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     20   Guards              
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     18   Jay              1  
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     18   Robert           1  Flat-footed (0 rnds remaining)               
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     9    Gramarye         1  Flat-footed (0 rnds remaining)               
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     6    Eztli            1  Flat-footed (0 rnds remaining)               
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     6    'Guards'            
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     3    Magpie           1  Flat-footed (0 rnds remaining)               
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ==============================================================================

 ===================== Current Initiative Order - Round 2 =====================
 ---Init--Name------------AOO-Notes--------------------------------------------
     21   Warped-Pixies    1  
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     20   Nemori           1  
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     20   Guards           1  
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     18   Jay              1  
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     18   Robert           1  Titan Armor (3 rnds active)                  
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     9    Gramarye         1  
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     6    Eztli            1  
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  >> 6    'Guards'         1   <<
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     3    Magpie           1  
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ==============================================================================

<OOC> Whirlpool says, "If you all survive this, AF has said that any legworks on researching Dace Zinskas ought to be directed at her. :)"
<OOC> Gramarye says, "I am on the wrong character for this."
<OOC> Gramarye says, "But that's okay. I'm a fey lumberjack, and I'm okay."

D&D = Dice & Despair
[WhirlChan] Robert yeets Jay's dice and hands over his.
[WhirlChan] Jay says, "It's fine"
[WhirlChan] Jay says, "Jay was specifically designed to be useless, if I'd wanted something useful I wouldn't have played a Rogue"
[WhirlChan] Jay says, "so the constant dice fuckups are in theme"
[WhirlChan] Eztli says, "We still all like Jay though"