Flouncy Floozy
A09: S. Bridge Over Tornmawr River and Shipping Channel
It's Gilday, Daeshen 12 21:39:39 1020. The full moon is up. The tide is low and ebbing. A chilly wind blows from the west, driving dark clouds before it and blotting out the stars in patches overhead. The air is clear and elsewhere they glitter brightly in the dark sapphire sky.
It's an early evening on in Alexandria and the High Bridge is a busy lane of traffic. People, wagons and their steeds, and more are acrossing at a regular clip, going one way or the other. Beneath it on the mighty Tornmawr river are river ships, also conducting their business on the docks below, or travelling off out to sea or up river into the rest of the Heartland.
Either way, there is a purple haired elf crossing the bridge, grumbling to herself all the while.
Three human children are crossing the bridge when the eldest recognizes the grumbling purple-haird elf as the model for a plushie! They are excited to meet a genuine celebrity! They can't stay long because they have to cross the bridge to grandma's house, but the eldest explains that he is saving up his allowance to afford a Rainbow Dragon Sandy plushie because they're the coolest!
Yelrona is crossing the bridge in the other direction, and joins the group when the youngest child surprises everyone by recognizing her and shyly handing her a dark-skinned elf-doll before running off with her siblings.
Rona stares at the doll with decidedly mixed feelings. "I suppose they're safe enough, now," she says skeptically.
A blonde Llyranesi wanders down the path. Muttering to herself. Mostly because she's squinting at a piece of paper she's holding as if trying to make sense of it. She's absently altering course occasionally to avoid other people, but not really acknowledging them often.
Then again, Lollia isn't the most friendly of elves to begin with.
Niara just got back into the city. She went out on a ship for a voyage, needing to feel a swaying deck under her feet. She hasn't been back for long, but even still she needed to walk and get a look at the water, so this finds her on the bridge, walking along though for the moment the hood of her cloak is pushed back, her silvery white hair hanging loose.
The black hooded and cloaked tall mecenary warrior, Darius, towers above everyone and peers at the children running past. He simply moves to the side, his heavy banded mail chinking along the wood and stone of the bridge as his greatsword peeks out of the top of his cloak. He notes the blond Lollia and then nods to Yelrona as he walks towards her.
Astaren is walking his way along the bridge, carrying a human sized rainbow dragon plushie on his back. He is grumbling to himself, "Why are they having me deliver this..." offering a smile to the children as he passes.
A filthy half-orc in rags leans against a mana lamppost on the bridge's side. A green serpent that sits across the back of his neck perches up on his shoulder and hisses. The green-skinned man nods.
Feeling suddenly protective, Yelrona decides to walk the kids to their grandma's. As she leaves, a large burly man accompanied by two dogs comes from the other direction. He is looking around at EVERYTHING, apparently fascinated by all of it, and comes to a stop not far from Sandy. "This has got to be the best view in the city!" he announces as the dogs bound playfully.
Lollia is distracted by the rainbow colors at the edge of her vision, turning her head slightly, then muffling a snicker as she sees the stuffed dragon being carried along by the beleagered Astaren
Niara turns herself, drawn by the image of the stuffed dragon and she shakes her head a bit. She looks down at the river a moment before turning to glance back around at all the other people that seem to be on the bridge.
Kruulvog sees a big cockroach crawling toward him along the bridge's guardrail. He reaches out and picks it up then eats it. He tells the snake, "You can have the next one."
Darius raises an eyebrow at Astaren and his 'package', his scarred lip turns up into a very small smile, and he can't help but say, "Delivering kids toys these days?"
Which is why Sandy nearly walks straight into Lollia!
She stops dead, though, and avoids crashing into her.
She's trying very hard to avoid chuildren and Yelrona, it would seem, a fact made thankfully easier by the Tarienite's decisio to hurry them on. Relief is evident in her expression, if anyone cares to notice.
"Oh, thank the Gods," she grumbles.
That might be easier to notice.
Astaren glances to everybody starting to stare at him, and grumbles some more. Then spots Sandy, and his face lights up, "Sandy!" moving over to her in a hurry, "So this thing, has been wondering around for over a month by couriers looking for the delivery person. Turns out, that person is your daughter. Where can I find her, or should I drop this off at your shop?" A glance back to Darius, "Oh no, they asked me, and i said I knew the girl. At which, they loaded it off to me."
Olav misunderstands Sandy's comment as being in response to his observation about the view, and looks her over, wondering if everyone here is as pious as all that. "Yes, thank the Gods," he agrees, not wanting to stand out. Grey noses him curiously, hoping for a treat, and he clicks his tongue. He's about to say something else when Astaren joins them, and he stares at the doll. "What _is_ that thing?"
Lollia is not quite so quick on the uptake. Or dexterous. She looks up as she sudden registers someone stopping in front of her, starting to throw her hands up before she mostly..well, bumps and rebounds off the other person. "Hey!" She says, stumbling back.
"..awk!"
Sandy would have been able to avoid Lollia but then Astaren is yelling at her and she turns to look at him and then /glares/ at him even more.
"You mean Avelia, yes. My /ward/. I haven't adopted her. She's my /ward/."
She's totally adopted her so far as anyone else is concerned, however. Then she is bumped into. As Lollia stumbles away, she is grabbing at wall of the bridge to keep from falling down herself.
"AWK," she flails.
Astaren nods as he holdes the human sized plushie out for Sandy, "Well seems that this was made specifically for Avelia, your adopted ward." nodding and then blinking, "You ok there?" noticing her getting bumped into a lot.
Darius watches this all, fairly amused, and says, "A comedy of errors it seems."
Kruulvog steps aside to avoid being physically broken by the crushing impact.
Olav tilts his head to one side, as though listening to something ineffable, and looks at Sandy. "Oh, you're _that_ Sandy!" he blurts out, "I've heard of you! You're famous!" He appears both starstruck and _extremely_ young. "They say you can turn into a dragon... can I see?"
Lollia mmphs as her paper nearly goes flying and she makes a hopping quick snatch for it before the wind can carry it off, bouncing as she does. "Do you even pay attention to where you're going?!?" the blonde elf sniffs. Because of course it can't be HER fault for not paying attention! "I could have fallen off the bridge and DIED or something!" She frowns as Olav suddenly recognizes her, then squints at the other woman. "...a dragon." she says. Doubtfully.
Astaren glances to Olav, and then Lollia, "A dragon, which spell? There are three variations. I think Sandy knows them all, or at least the most powerful circle on. Not the most commonely used spell, as most wizards or sorcerers don't like to get up close in a fight. Sandy's just happens to be rainbow. Henche." Holding up the plushie, "This has come to be."
Darius just shakes his head, smiling, and hides underneath his hood as he shakes slightly with suppressed laughter.
Olav clearly didn't quite follow Astaren's explanation, though he's trying. "Oh... is that common?" he asks. "I didn't know. There aren't any real wizards or... or sorcerors," he explains, tripping over the last word as though it were a particularly rude insult, "back home. Or bridges. Or... buildings, really. So... can all wizards turn into dragons?"
"A rainbow dragon. Seriously? What do you breath, bubbles and candy?" the snarky blonde elf notes, Lollia's hands going to her hips. "Wait, so YOU'RE responsible for those rainbow dragon things being all over town too?"
Kruulvog mutters to his snake, "It would be most interesting to see, if what this human says is so. Very powerful." The snake nods its head and hisses in response. The filthy green man adds, especially if she breathes out rainbows or candy or bubbles."
Darius is having trouble now containing his mirth, the laughter is starting to leak out from the man, and lightly holds his stomach as the conversation gets even more absurd.
"I guess," says Sandt to Astaren with a snort. "Magic is all blargh everywhere, anyway," she replies with a muttered 'wizards' under her breath. And then her eyes go back to Lollia and she points a finger at her. "You! Shut your mouth, damn it all. It was ONE TIME I used a spell. ONE TIME and nobody ever lets you forget it." She rolls her eyes, then adds, "The hell you say, anyway, YOU should be paying more attention yourself." She scowls briefly.
Olav looks around to the locals, increasingly confused. "I don't understand," he finally says. "Is there something _wrong_ with turning into a dragon?"
Lollia sniffs. "Well, if SOMEONE wasn't standing like a log in the middle of the street, I wouldn't HAVE to pay attention!" She squints, then waves her hands irritatedly. "You know what I mean! And OBVIOUSLY you did it in a way that EVERYONE remembers, or those toys wouldn't be all over!"
Astaren tilts his head, "I grew up in Rune, you could not walk five feet without finding a wizard, or sorcerer, or some kind of arcane caster." then shrugs his shoulders and looks to Sandy, "One time is all it takes to start a legacy." then turns toward Lollia, "Oh!? The Plushies are all Sandy's doing?" turning towards Sandy, "Makes senes, the company that puts these out is called, 'Rainbow Gnome Enterprises.'"
Astaren adds on thoughtfully, 'And they were all given away for free until recently. I always knew Sandy had a kind heart and loved children."
Darius is openly laughing now, unable to hide it, bent over holding his gut. Tears are even leaking from his eyes that he wipes away as he says, "Ah... stop... you are... killing me..." Apparently he's the only one that finds this all funny, no tact at all, it seems.
"That's a filthy lie and you take that back," says Sandy, poiting her finger at AStaren. Darius' laughter is getting him glared at. "I /will/ send you to an extra-dimensional maze," she informs him. And then now back to Lollia, of course. Glaring even harder.
"I was WALKING. YOu're in the wrong lane of traffic, you insufferable flounce!" She's getting more agitated now.
Kruulvog finally ventures to speak /with/ another person. To Astaren, he asks, "This Rune you talk of, is it truly as full of magic wielders as you say? Does that include witches?"
Olav's hand drifts to the pommel of his greataxe, strapped to his back. "I... would rather you not do that," he tells Sandy.
"Flounce! FLOUNCE! Why you draconid floozy, how DARE YOU!" Lollia folds her arms across her curvy chest. "OBVIOUSLY, you should apologize for nearly killing me by knocking me off the bridge."
Sandy only makes Darius laugh even harder, he's leaning against the bridge railing, he's holding his stomach as he continues to listen and says, "Flounce.... floozy... BWAHahahahahahaha~!"
Astaren shakes his head as he steps back, "Yet your actions keep proving otherwise Sandy. I belive you are a truly kind person, so far not seen anything to the contrary." Then as an off to Lollia, "That, was a mistake." he offers and starts to walk off, a glance to Kruulvog, "Oh, there are now. They are relatively new, and not that many. Most witches stick to their covens and not wonder into highly structured societies I have been told. You are welcome to visit, but uh... expect to be forced cleaned."
"Please! I've seven inches on you. If I can't go over the edge, you sure as hell can't. Maybe you'd bang your head on the wall and some sense'd rub off on the rocks rattling around in your damn skull, you.. you... prancing ninny!"
She jabs a finger at Lollia, now fully focused on her.
Astaren takes the distraction away from him to make his way past, he has a very large plushie to deliver to Sandy's home and her daughter.
"Ninny! I've got twice the brain power in my pinky that you have, you pulchridinous cretin!" Lollia shoots back, then hmmphs, getting a catty look. "Maybe if you didn't take up so MUCH of the street, you wouldn't be such an impediment to passerby!"
Darius is now hammering the railing with his fist, starting to choke and cough from laughter, tears are falling unhindered from his eyes as this is now past the point of absurdity and into beyond.
"Ninny!" repeats Sandy, "You're a ninny, ninny, ninny. A flouncing, prancing ninny. You probably ooh and ahh at TULIPS and run bare foot through the flowers to the drumbeat provided by the rocks rattling in your head. Her hands go to her hips. "And VERY funny. At least people who aren't blind can see me -- you, your turn sideways and they might just forget you exist at all."
Lollia mmphs, then smirks and reaches up to cup her fairly ample chest. "Oh, I KNOW you aren't used to seeing anything like this on yourself, but /believe me/, no one is going to miss me turned sidewise." she purrs. Her eyes narrow. "Maybe that grease on your face is getting in your eyes, then again..."
"If he keeps laughing, I'm going to chuck him over the damn bridge," says Sandy, glowering at Lollia. "Well, that explains a grfeat deal. Not only are you dumb, you're /also/ blind. I thought we elves were supposed to have excellent eyesight. Is this what got you 'flounced' out of Snooty Llyranost Academy Three Thousand One?"
"At least some of us can flounce out the door if needed instead of having to be rolled out." Lollia snaps, folding her arms across her chest. "And I certainly don't need an academy to sign off on my ability or intelligence!" That seems to be a sore point with her.
Kruulvog slinks, even skulks away, likely to somewhere less occupied by armored men that can't breathe right for laughing so hard. As he departs, a certain tangy stench that was in the air seems to dissipate into a cleaner scent of the saltwater carried upon the breeze from the nearby harbor.
Darius finally manages to catch his breath and stop laughing, and finally moves in between them, probably a VERY bad idea and says, "Alright, enough, you've both insulted each other to the point of almost no return." He looks at Sandy, "You can chuck me over the bridge, but you both are behaving like children." He glances at Lollia, "It was an accident, no harm was intended, you should recognize that at least." To Sandy he says, "And you, she's upset because you didn't apologize and insulted her, maybe antagonizing her when clearly she's quick to temper wasn't a good idea?"
'Oh, look. A man has arrived to offer his oh so manly opinion," remarks Sandy, rolling her eyes.
And then she waves her hand in the air, utters an arcane word, and picks Darius up by the feet with magic to dangle him over the bridge. The guards are immediatly taking notice and pointing.
They will begin their approach shortly.
Sandy gives the warrior a little shake before turning her gasze back to Lollia. POINTEDLY.
"Clearly quick to temper?!?" Lollia splutters. Yes. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flak from both sides. "Totally drop him. Aim for something soft though." She mmphs and glares back at Sandy. "...he's also completely right in that you are a RUDE person who did not apologize. And obviously ARE interested in knocking people off the bridge."
Darius is about to say something else when *WHOOMP* he's grabbed by the feet and dangled and shaken over the edge of the bridge and sighs, "Really? This is your response?" He shakes his head and hangs there upside down and crosses his arms, "You both are proving my point, you know." If he gets dropped into the river there's no much he can do about it but pray he can get out of his armor fast enough so that he doesn't drown.
"I am sorely tempoted to drop him and that's bull! I'm only trying to drop him because he's nearly as big a pain in the ass as you are right now, shortarse." She gives Darius another shake, heedless of the approach of the guards. "SHORTARSE," she repeats, gesturing at Lollia.
"You lumbering oaf! Like a few inches offer anything for you but the ability to pretend that your pinhead is big enough to actually have a brain!" Lollia shoots back. "For your information, I am PERFECTLY proportioned in every way!" She looks at Darius and strikes a pose for him, cocking a hip and arching her back slightly. "Aren't I? FAR better than a greasepainted buffoon, even if she IS a little bit taller...."
Darius grimaces as he's shaken again and says, "Ladies, the Guard is about to arrest you both for disturbing the peace, why don't you both agree to disagree and walk away before it's too late?" He starts fumbling at the catches of his armor. He gives Lollia a pained look, "Yes, you are very lovely and under normal circumstances I would try and buy you a drink and see if you were amenable to a little companionship, but..." He waves a hand at himself, "I seem to be 'up in the air' right now."
"Perfectly proportioned for what, exactly? Playing the talking weed in the Where THe Green Grows in Silvermoon?" asks Sandy, referring to a llyranessi play full of talking plants.
She rolls her eyes unimpressed at Lollia. UNNIMPRESSED. "Probably not. You have a.. lack of stage presence, I think, and no doubt your voice would bring the audience to tears when it cme time to sing the Midnight Song -- tears of laughter, that is." She gives Dariuys another shake.
The guards are closing in now.
"... ugh! Disgusting," she adds to Darius.
"Oh, are you an ENTERTAINER? Well that explains the rainbow dragon...what's next, childrens' parties? I'm sure it would be about your skill level..." The blonde elf is in full burn at this point. "Considering your presence would require your parents to hang a slab of meat around your neck just so the family dog would play with you, I hardly think you're in a position to comment." Pause. "You cow." Yeah, she's not really noticing the guards approaching. Though she does pause to give Darius a LOOK. "Hmmph. As if!"
The shaking and upside down is enough to make Darius very nauseous and so, he vomits up onto the bridge at both their feet his recent meal of rotten stew and stale ale from the Ox-Strength Tavern and mutters, "I'd rather you just drop me... at least the river would be easier to deal with..." He sighs, and regrets walking onto THIS bridge, at THIS time.
"Uguggh. Vile," says Sandy when Darius loses his lunch.
"I'm in EVERY position to comment, thank you very much! As your better in, well... just about every way, probably." She smiiiiiles at Lollia. She raises Darius up back over the bridge proper. She's about to set him down when the guards (the ones that have been approaching) grab her hands.
The result is the spell dropping abruptly and Darius crashing into the highbridge instead with some clanks.
"HEY LET GO," she tells the guards.
Lollia blinks, then starts to back up as one of the other guards goes for her. "Heeeeey! I didn't even DO anything!!?" she whines in protest as she's grabbed too! "She's the one casting magic! Ask him! He saw!" And felt. Also. "...ewwwww!" At the mess made.
Darius crashes head first and sees stars, and perhaps blood, as he's knocked senseless. As a couple of guards rush to help him up, Darius grabs his head and waves them off as he stands up unsteadily on his feet, and glares first at Sandy and says, "That, was uncalled for..." He then glares at Lollia, "And you aren't much better."
He takes a steadying breath as his head is hurting a lot and he's still very queasy and says to the guards, "No harm was done, just a lovers quarrel over me, I cheated on my wife..." Indicating Sandy, "With Lollia and rightfully they are upset at me... If anyone should be in trouble over this, it's me..." At this he give Sandy and then Lollia a LOOK to get them to not call him a liar as he's attempting to extricate them from the mess THEY made.
Unfortuntely for Darius, Sandy is a public figure.
They know that's not true.
"...sir, you do understand that lying to the guard is considered an arrestable offense, right?"
Sandy's hand goes over her face.
"Unless this is actually Myrana Jn’rajh in disguiose?" asks a guard, carefully.
"...no. I mean, I could say yes to get out of trouble, but when Myrana gets back and hears about it, she'd murder my face for it. So no. Also, I'm going to MAZE HIM."
And she does. A few wrods of magic, a free hand, and Darius is totally going to find himself in a hedge maze.
It's possibly better than prison.
Possibly.
Lollia is starting to have it sink in that she maaaaaay be in trouble...and then blinks at Darius, her eyes widening as her lips part, before she bites down on whatever she was about to say. It might work!
And then he's mazed. Welp.
"Gods dammit, you just HAD to do that..." she snaps at Sandy. "Where's your brain!??"
Darius sighs as he looks around, "Women... can't live with them... and they fight dirty otherwise..." He sits down on the ground, needing a little rest before he tries to find his way out of the maze, his head still is bleeding and hurting. He says philosophically, "Well... I suppose this is slightly better than the river..." His version of could be worse.
...and that's when Sandy and Lollia wind up being escorted to jail.
In manacles.
"Tighten them extra on her. Her wrists are so thin she might slip out of them," she tells the guards, nodding with her head to Lollia.
"I'm FINEBONED, you clumsy sheepherder!" Lollia shoots back. "This is your fault!"
Darius calls out, "Anybody around? I'm kinda lost in this maze. I could use some help... I was sent here by an evil bitch rainbow farting dragoness who carries a huge grudge against men." He waits, listening for a response, poking the dragon is a bad idea but at this point he's pissed off enough not to care.
- fin -