Home, Giant Home

Better Homes and Dungeons has requested again the aid of adventurers, this time in scoping out the lair of what seems likely to be a giant. They're certain it's a cozy little lair, and so have sent you out to explore it. Your task is to explore the entirety of the area and report back what you find so that the magazine can write up an editorial about it. They're particularly excited as it seems that this might in fact be both a home /and/ a dungeon!

You were given directions out to the area in question, but the directions were sparse at best. Not particularly helpful beyond the fact that you are supposed to head north until a particular big tree and then east. Someone said you couldn't miss it. Which means it's either right out in the open, or so well hidden that it'll take a miracle to find it.

A rather attractive Cerenzan man in equally aesthetically pleasing regalia walks next to Chay, while quietly discussing events earlier in the day and what might be done about it. After enough had been said, the man turns to the rest of the group.

"Greetings fellow travelers. Better Homes and Dungeons, I tell you what! My friend's cousin told me that I NEEDED to get a subscription and I've never looked back. Is this everyone's first excursion at their suggestion? It's mine. Ah yes, My name is KumainPekPek. Most call me Pek, being as it's easier."

"They hire sometimes through the Guild Sservice Board, sser. This one...this one has sserved a few times, sser, though not many." Chay looks up from the paper he'd been examining. "One is...one has lived in Alexandria for a ssmall time now--a year, now? and it still surprises me, sser." The sith-makar wears a long, greenish-leather duster. The sort to keep brambles out of the way, and blend with the woods and earth.

Echo has been hired on board it seems. The crystal adorned golem is otherwise mostly quiet, considering it seems as to what in the world that he has been brought into. His walking staff is leaned on as he seems to be considering whether or not to just do what he can at the moment. After a few moments, he finally speaks up, "What can we expect in where we are going?"

GAME: Chay rolls survival: (12)+13: 25
GAME: KumainPekPek rolls survival: (8)+3: 11

"...one suspects they have it is possible sser, not that it has happened--that it is possible, again, ssers, that they have forgotten to ssend a notice to the resident that we are visiting." Chay wrinkles his muzzle as they walk.

"..." He glances down at the path they are following, and were he a softskin, he would be wiping at his eyes. As it is, he squiiiiints!

GAME: Echo rolls Survival: (1)+3: 4 (EPIC FAIL)

It doesn't take long, due to the ease of finding the tree (conveniently marked with an X ), and the... well the smell of /feet/ which permeates the air to find the giant's den. You get closer and closer until you get a good view of it carved into the side of a foothill. The giant itself is clearly home, cooking something in a huge pot that smells as bad as the giant itself does. Even those of you without sensitive noses can smell the creature from where you are standing. The cave that you're supposed to be exploring is just behind it.

"From what I can tell, we are heading to the home, and quite possibly, the Dungeon of a Giant." Pek wrinkles his nose at this point. "Yes... I'd say we are definitely nearing Giant territory.. Why didn't I memorize THAT spell today..?" As the party draws nearer to the Giant's home, he cuts his voice.

Covering his nose with his hand to blot out the smell, he seeks the nearest cover to ensure he isn't spotted to become the next thing in the pot.

The sith-makar looks to the left. To the right. "Perhaps we ought to introduce ourselves, ssers, as working for the magazine?" he suggests. Then, spying what he was looking for, jogs a few feet to a patch of weeds. He reaches down and grabs a handful of the fullest looking set. "It is good we brought sspices for the meal, sser. This was very neighborly of you to think of, sser," he adds, with a nod to Kumain.

Echo huhs as they get close enough to smell, and see the giant's home. He looks over at the others. "So how do we distract a giant?" He asks.

The man blinks blankly at Chay as if dumb struck by the audacity of such an idea. Slowly the idea of it not being SO bad wears it's way over his face.

"So... spices... eh? Someone here speak Giant? That might come in handy." Pek smiles.

It seems that's the plan, and so you head over to the giant in question. It's much worse up close than it was far away, but at least at first the giant doesn't notice you. Then suddenly it does and it leverages it's wooden spoon out of the pot and levels it at you. It squints, trying to get a good look, but clearly it's not seeing you very well. "Whattya want?" It grouses out the question in common.

GAME: KumainPekPek rolls diplomacy: (4)+3: 7
GAME: Chay rolls diplomacy: (14)+11: 25
GAME: Echo rolls Diplomacy: (15)+7: 22

"...unless you know how to fight him, sser," the sith-makar whispers urgently, before they head up to the cave, "...if this fails, ssers, we may at leasst run." He straightens then, and moves to step just-behind the priest. "This one does not speak it, sser--but one sspent time as a...as a sservant, sser." He does not say 'slave,' though he may as well have, with the dip of the phrase.

And so, and so--when they near the cave. When they arrive. The sith-makar ducks his head differentially to the giant. "We are here on behalf of Better Homes and Dungeons, sser. They wished us to interview you about your home, sser. They thought it...they thought it unique, sser."

"Very pretty, sser."

It smells like feet, ser. Chay would be sweating, were he a softskin. "We brought a few herbs for your sstew, sser." A nod to Echo and Kumain.

Please don't let the weeds be poisonous. Please don't let the weeds be poisonous.

...or if they are, let the giant not know the difference.

Echo gives a nod, moving forward with the herbs and offering them towards the giant. "Here you go, sir. Our apologies for disturbing you but we are curious as to your home, as is our employers."

Pek reaches into his pack and pulls out a small container clearly marked "Sneezing Powder". "I have some more spices to add to it as well." The man smiles as he hands him the container. "Greetings from Better Homes and Dungeons! What can you tell us about how you decided to decorate this magnificent home?"

Uncertainty the giant accepts both the herbs and the packet. Clearly he's a little overwhelmed by your words; and your generosity. With a flick of his hand he tosses the weeds into the pot. The packet he holds up and squints at. Stares at, holds it to varying lengths and finally opens. Delicately - for a giant - he sniffs at the packet. Inhaling all of the powder in one great snort. And then proceeds to start sneezing profusely. Hard enough that his eyes water and his butt hits the ground.

Pek cries out, "Noo!" rushing over to the Giant's side, but not close enough to get swatted. "That was supposed to be for the food! Are you okay?"

"...are the herbs sspicy, sser? They were not ssure what would fit a giant's palate, sser?" Chay says anxiously. Please don't let the herbs be poison. Please don't let the herbs be--

The sith-makar looks uneasily at Kumain, and back again, as though the man might...explain the secrets? Back him up? Oh god please don't let the herbs be poison.

The giant can't answer for a very long time, but after a long moment he sits upright and wipes his runny nose on his sleeve. "Good! Good pepper!" He shakes his head and grins at KumainPekPek. Then with a heave he stands up and dumps the rest of the packet, what little there is, into the food. He gives it all a good stir and then tastes it. "Mmmm good stew! What was this about homes and dungeons? Are you selling magazines?"

"They wish us to interview you, sser," the sith-makar says, and glances to Echo and Kumain. "About your home, sser. How did you choose your decorations, sser?" he asks, repeating Kumain's earlier question. "It is interesting, sser. This one is sssure the readers would wish to know, sser."

It smells like feet, ser. Chay's tail twitchtwitches.

Pek patiently awaits the Giant to compose himself and answer the question, while scanning the room for anything of note.

"I will give you a tour!" It's not a long tour. It's just one room with a chair and a nest of blankets on the floor. A few books bound big enough for a giant to read. They don't look like they've been touched /ever/. He happily chatters at you about the bears he's slain for his blankets and how he made pretty much everything here himself. He invites you to stay for dinner, but you decline as... it smells worse than feet and you know it has weeds and sneezing powder in it. Only the gods know what else he thinks is tasty!

"Thank you.... What was your name again? I hope we may encounter each other again someday!" Pek slowly walks out, waiting for a name if possible.

"The name's Karl! You're welcome to come by any time!" He waves to you all as you go quite happily.

"WONDERFUL to have met you, Karl!"

-End