My Cihuaa

Log Info

• Title: My Cihuaa
• Emitter: Cryosanthia
• Characters: Cryosanthia, Zeke
• Place: A10: Temple of Daeus
• Time: Sunday, March 29, 2020, 1:55 AM
• Summary: Cryosanthia wants to discuss with Zeke. She explains her confusion, over her physical maturity and the lack of memories to go with it. That what she does remember of her time with Salina was very sterile and lonely. She can't explain why she feels Zeke is her mate, it may have been desperate fantasy, but it's unfair to push that on him. Zeke denies his worth to Cryosanthia several times, while still being drawn to her. Cryosanthia declares that she wants him, and that she can wait until he's had time to conquere his fear of her. Cryo manages a little humour, to control herself and expresses she feels very broken. Zeke reassures her, she is not, she is beautiful.

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=<* A10: Temple of Daeus *>=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

The temple of the Sun Lord glitters golden beneath the same. Rather than walls, the majority of the temple is composed of what appears at first blush to be a raised round platform made of one of the largest slabs of marble likely in existence. Columns rise into the air as if to hold some massive ceiling, though instead of a normal ceiling, one finds the deep blue sky, studded by a disconcertingly close canopy of bright stars. One should not worry, however, as the rain never falls, and the wind never blows on this particular temple, but for a gentle breeze, whatever the weather outside may be.

Despite the austerity of the columns, warmth suffuses the grounds. A grand, marble statue of the Shining Knight stands a the center, a hand outstretched in benediction. Beside Him, the statue of Althea, their hands clasped in love. The central position of the temple to the others gives view to all of their children, and the two look upon one another with the solemnity of love that has been the center of so many tales and legends.

Masterfully designed mana lamps provide further soft, golden lightning where needed, their pedestals carved in the form of the Dragons of Light, over which Daeus is said to have dominion in His form of Draco Solis. Majesty, justice, and welcome suffuse the temple grounds. Around the central temple are a series of smaller buildings, each with a simple function and form. One houses the sacred book depicting some of the earliest known translations of the Laws of Light, which pilgrims from near and far come to visit. Another houses the well-appointed quarters of the Sunguards, and among all the ground bristle the Sunblades.

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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  Appearing  -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Cryosanthia  6'9"     267 Lb     Sith-Makar        Female    An elegant white-scaled sith-makar woman.
Zeke         6'8"     239 Lb     Sith-Makar        Male      A blue-scaled sith-makar in shadowy robes
-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

Cryosanthia has been resting. She's been sleeping on her back, which is not a comfortable or normal position for a sith-makar. Their bodies aren't built for it. Crests, horns, the heavy tail and the way the hips are arranged, sleeping on the side or the belly is naturally more comfortable. Yet that's how she positions herself, drawn out straight.

When she awakens, she stares at the ceiling. Sometimes for quite a duration, then she moves her lips and gets up. Her eyes are open, she hasn't moved them yet. Sleeping with her eyes open may be another skill she's acquired. It's hard to tell.

Zeke is in and out. He checks on her while she is sleeping, uncertain if she's getting the rest she needs or not. Eventually the work in the temple draws him out again, but he always returns. With tea, with small snacks. This time he returns with both. Offerings of warm tea poured out into cups and brought to the table by her bed and a small box of sweet meaty bits. The kinds of food that one brings for a convolesing sith. He sits on the stool at her side. "Are you feeling better?"

She moves her lips, starts to sit up, then doesn't. She curls and rolls onto her side so she can face Zeke. Cryo smiles weakly, "I'm feeling ... physically better. And the rest... I'm feeling many things. Confusion, primarily."

The blue-scale nods, not really understanding, but wanting her to continue. "What confussssesss you Cryosssanthia?" His green eyes try to take her all in. Watching for some sign that she's unwell in some way he can fix. But he's already healed her and all that remains are things that he does not know how to fix.

"The last few days are sharp..." Cryosanthia starts to explain, looking over and up at Zeke, then makes a small snort, "The last few days are all there is, isn't it? Leaving the Fernwood, stepping back. In between... dreams. I feel like it's there but I can't grab it. I get a flash, or a scene, or a feeling. Feelings, which aren't fair, especially to you."

She looks away from the other sith now, down along her body, "I see the changes, I know this is me. I'm happy with how I am, but I remember a few days ago and wonder how many years? Am I still beautiful? All this time and still vain."

"Not fair... to thisss one?" The words are a question, but hers makes Zeke smile in the sith way. With his eyes and his tail wagging behind him. No flash of teeth such as the soft-skins do. "Thisss one knowsss that yearssss, many yearsss have passsed for your body. It mussst ssseem sstrange to you. To feel it and know it isss yoursss and yet, to not remember the every-day that made it thisss way. But thisss one can asssure you that you are ssstill beautiful. Only the young think that youth alone isss beautiful."

"Thank you," Cryo says, raising up her head, sounding grateful and smelling happy. She smiles, and while it's restrained, it is genuine and there. "It does, and this is me now, and I got here somehow."

She reaches out, but not to close, holding a hand open towards Zeke's crystal claw. "You were striking the first time we met, and you said things I needed to hear, about what I was hiding. I enjoyed the time and company with you, but I was young and infatuated and with this..." she makes a short sweeping gesture to encompass herself, "... you can see it was a long time ago. It should not have survived."

She keeps her hand extended, "but I look on you now and I feel things, my body responds. I don't know if you knew, but I would sometimes send things to the Crimson Pen. What did I imagine when I was lonely, about you, so hard that my body believes it? It's wrong to push that on you, to act on something that..."

She makes a small painful noise in her throat, "... is a dream. Not real."

Zeke reaches out. Each time it's a little easier than the time before. As if she's teaching the parts of him that never learned properly that this is supposed to be safe. He reaches out and catches her hand in his crystal claw. He's never had a hand here, wouldn't know how to feel what isn't there. But /she/ can feel it. Zeke can hold her hand. What he doesn't expect is her words. Her gentle eresnt words.

There are so many things that cross his mind, so many words but none of them coherent enough to offer her. "Thisss one...?" It seems impossible. "You mussst have been sso apart from the People." He can only imagine that she must have been the only sith there. That she must have been so alone.

"You dessserve a proper cihuaa." He looks down, clutches her hand with his claw. With the too-small offering that he has for her. "Thisss one knowss, that you called thisss one... beautiful once. But thisss one is not worthy of sssuch feelingsss." Such saddnesss. The words are like knives that betray him in his throat. "You are young, and truly beautiful Cryossanthia."

Cryo can't remember. There were others, bodies, faceless, passing, at times, hints of company. Her overwhelming experience, what she guesses and what is likely true, was her alone with a fae, who, to the extent that she understood emotions was uninterested in them, and disdainful of any expressions a smelly lizard might make of them.

So she was, alone. "I want you. You are wise and wonderful. Studious and smart. If I was so desperate to invent an imaginary cihuaa, it could have been anyone at Mictlan. It could have been fully fabricated, so I wouldn't feel this now."

Cryosanthia's throat rumbles, a deep feminine signal, a call for her mate. "I want you." She fights herself, quelling her responses, cutting them off. "If..."

She shakes her head, her expression suddenly turning horrified, "No, I will not say. It would destroy you. You... you should not have a crazy female on your hands. Another, crazy female."

There are some things that are purely instinctual, and her call is one of those things. It lifts Zeke's head and he is rumbling low in his throat before he can think of it. Promising with a sound to be there for her. Females choose these things among the sith, not the males. He's shocked at himself, and the scent of that and embarassment rise off of his scales along with the faint tingling of pride he can not extinguish. "Thisss one isss unworthy." He tries to reason with her. Tries to make her see.

Zeke's claw holds her's so gently and so firmly. "Ssssa. Thisss one..." He lifts his head, steadies his shoulders. "Thisss one will not be broken again. Thisss one isss Zeke now. And... You are not crazy Cryosssanthia. Not at all like thisss onesss nessst-mother."

Cryosanthia holds on tightly to the claw hand. She doesn't let go. She wants to move, her body surging, her mate is there, go to him. Her call resumes, strong and loud, come to me. Cryo hears Salina laughing at her, except, the fae never laughed. So it's herself, some intellectual abstract sith-fae amused at her own inability to control herself. She feels crazy, despite Zeke's assurances. "Sssaa! Not broken. This one... this one understands she can overwhelm you. I can hold back, not press... this one has patience... in buckets!"

In this moment Zeke is glad for his age, for the wisdom it brings him to hold back just a little. So that he doesn't rush headlong into something that would likely end horribly. Because he wants to go to her, but he knows his mind well enough to know that such closeness would terrify him. There's something in the air, their scents mingling; and yet to him hers is overwhelming. "You ssshould not have to wait. You desserve sssomeone that doesss not fear to touch you." These are the words he had not spoken before.

He finds himself moving of his own accord, dipping his head, tilting it to the side. If he were not so broken he would be nuzzling her. Zeke's instincts know what he's been trained to ignore. "Cryosssanthia... What kind of nessst can thisss one offer?"

"A smart nest, with glittering eggs. Patience and wisdom. Understanding. I am still young, but I was barely graduated from being a youngling and I need time now, to fully inhabit who I've become." Her scent raises, then ebbs, rises again. She finds she's moved upright, kneeling on the bed, looking like she'll move towards him, but not, managing to hold back.

"This one can wait, this one can wait till you know there's no reason to fear me." Then a random thought zooms through her mind like a comet, knocking all other thoughts clear. Impulsively, she has to joke, "Wait a tic? If you couldn't touch me how did you get me in bed and treat me. Were you mage handing me?"

And for a second, the way her head tilts, the look in her eyes, she's the way she was back in the pub, before all this happened. Zeke blinks, but he has no further words of denial. Everything he can think has been rebutted by this female who inexplicably wants... him. Thus he's almost glad when she changes the subject, enough that her words make a low hum of amusement echo out of him "Thisss one iss a /healer/ Cryossathia. Thisss one iss not afraid of bodiesss. Thiss one issss... Only afraid of thossse that might touch. Of will." The will of others to do harm. Which wasn't to say that he was fearless touching unconsious people, or those that needed him to move them... but he had conqured at least some of that because his calling was something that could not be ignored. It seemed though... that perhaps she could not be either.

"Well maybe I'll need some examinations..." Cryo trills, dipping her nose tilting her head to gaze at him. It's a cute, youngling watching sort of pose which seems odd with her large horns. She blinks, and then she sort-of blink-winks, her eyelids moving separately. "Oh, that's a thing I can do now."

The tension is cut and her body is quiescent, all aspects of her satisfied her mate, her male, her cihuaa is here with her. Her breathing is firm, and she smells dominant and secure. "I am truly glad Zeke. This one is. Thank you."

She can move now, to take the offering, the tea, the sweet meat, and satisfy a hunger. Her eating is surprisingly delicate, or perhaps, not surprisingly. She sits very contained as she does. After a few sips she says, "A thing mrr... a thing said, concerned me."

More embarassment wafts off of Zeke, but he keeps his mouth surprisingly closed. Her distraction reminds him of the tea and he greatfully takes it up. The scent of it calms him more, but her satisfied scent does even more. She's happy and it makes him happy. Makes him feel satisfied and fufilled. This is the way it should be. "What concernsss you Cryosssanthia?"

"That I helped. That I advanced her goal. I don't know what I agreed to do for her, what I would have. It must have been enough, it might have been anything. Even if I can't remember now, I'm guilty of those actions if they were heinous. I can't imagine Salina caring to protect feelings, she clears minds to protect herself. Yet is it a serendipidous expedience that no one remembers?" Cryosanthia explains, delinating a worry needlessly in all aspects. She exhales, takes another sip of tea, another sweet meat. "Shorter, simpler. Am I evil for having been there?"

"You did asss your nature demandsss. You did asss a ssspeaker-casste mussst. You have brought back valuable information to the People... If we can learn it." He meets her gaze with his green eyes. Zeke is serious now. Certain where he was not before. "You did what you had to do to sssurvive. There issss no sshame in that. One can not change the passst. You are here now. You are yourssself. Thessse are the thingsss that matter."

"Thessse are true wordss." Cryosanthia says, and she moves to thank him physically with a touch, and she halts herself, because it would not be received as thanks, and her body doesn't complain that it was thwarted. Instead she smiles, and she radiates calm, and smells pleased. It's not a glorious aura like Svarshan can project, or a Calm Emotions spell which washes them away like prestidigation does dirt, but it is coming from a beautiful, confident and powerful female and speaks at a visceral level. "Help thiss one remember, ssso she knowss for ssure, forever, it wass the right thing."

"This one is grateful for the food. The struggle with myself has taken more energy than I expected. Thisss one would lie down again, if you would stay a short while longer, then sneak out so I sleep."